High and Low

A long running conflict, which has been taking place under the radar on one level, has been revealed.  Heightened tensions recently have exposed the deep-rooted divisions and raised this quarrel to an elevated plane.  The yardstick of the simmering anger was that both sides were inches away from all out confrontation. 

The conflict in question is the perennial struggle between short and tall men.  Some of their viewpoints and grievances are listed below.

One tall man said that tall men tower majestically head and shoulders above short men.  Short men charged that whenever a short man looked up, there was another tall man looking down on him.  

An irritated tall man remarked that short men are highhanded and are always looking for shortcuts.  An angry short man rebutted that tall men with their underhanded methods try to shortchange anyone who is not tall.     

Tall men considered that short men were one more grouping undercutting their dominant positions.  Short men responded that they were underrepresented and overlooked in their careers.  For instance, a little guy piped up that he felt that only short men should have exclusive access to the corporate ladder.  He added with disgust that the big guys could work their way up using their lousy long legs, or at most with the aid of the corporate footstool.  

Tall men believed that their brains, situated at an elevated location, allows for a higher level of reasoning and makes them natural leaders.  Short men assert that they are able to think quicker on their feet since it takes less time for thoughts to travel from their heads to their toes.  

Tall men declare that short leaders have a Napoleonic complex and are minute men with megalomanias.  They add that all short leaders have been either hotheaded revolutionaries or cold-blooded despots.  Short men caustically counter that tall leaders have always ranked high in instigating towering crises.   

Short men say that tall men are making mountains out of molehills and all the problems of tall men go over their heads.  Tall men insist that short men are going under with their repetitive refrain of stunted expressions.  

Tall men state that short men can only speak one tongue – the language of height.

Short men proclaim that they do not want to be denigrated any further with the “short” epithet and they want to be referred to from now on by the politically correct term “Vertically Challenged”.


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